Book 7- "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde

First of all, my apologies for the late post. Both of my children were sick last week (Owen with ear infections/diarrhea/general misery, Addison with some sort of flu bug) and as a result I didn't have time to start reading until Friday. Add to that the fact that this book took a lot of willpower and focus to keep reading, and you have a Wednesday post.

"The Picture of Dorian Gray" starts out with an artist who is obsessed with a young man that he is painting-- the young man (Gray) becomes the focus of all of his artwork, even that which does not feature people. Basil (the artist) states that Gray has woven himself so deeply into his emotional being that every stroke of the paintbrush has become about Gray. Dorian Gray is described as being immeasurably beautiful, with blonde hair, flawless skin, etc. etc. (although there is no blatant homosexuality in the book, it is worth mentioning that Wilde himself was homosexual and actually served time in prison for this reason; It's obvious that Wilde's attraction to men colors his descriptions in the book, and it actually gets a little distracting and hard to remember that the men in the book are straight.)

Through Basil, Dorian becomes friends with a man named Lord Henry, who develops into sort of a mentor for Gray. Lord Henry is a pretty well liked, apparently upstanding guy with some pretty radical ideas, and it is his ideas that start Gray on his downfall. Upon seeing the portrait Basil painted of Gray, Lord Henry states that the biggest tragedy is that the portrait will remain beautiful while Gray will slowly age and lose his youthful beauty; it is this observation/idea that causes Gray to pray that the portrait should age and show the wear of his choices and mistakes, rather than himself.

As time passes, Gray falls in love with a young actress well below his societal class; eventually he breaks her heart in a fit of fury and after he leaves her, declaring he doesn't want to see her again, she kills herself. This is the first time that Gray notices a change to the portrait-- the portrait gains a look of cruelty that was not there when originally painted. Gray realizes that his prayer/wish has been realized, and that the portrait is sort of a visual representation of his conscience.

Years pass, and Gray remains the same; he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants to, and the portrait grows uglier and uglier. For a long time this does not really bother him; he becomes an outcast in society and rumors are spread about his "wickedness." Wilde never really elaborates on what deeds Gray has supposedly committed to receive such a reputation, but the reader is given the impression that aside from his close friends (including Lord Henry), England's upper crust doesn't seem to like Gray at all.

The turning point seems to come when Basil, ready to go to France for 6 months, confronts his old friend about his reputation; Basil initially refuses to believe that all of the rumors can be true, and Gray kind of taunts Basil's loyalty/obsession with him by showing him the portrait. Basil is initially disbelieving and then horrified, and Gray becomes so overcome with rage that the painting was ever done at all that he kills Basil. The body is disposed of and Gray goes about his life, but his conscience wears on him and he becomes paranoid and anxious. The ending will be left a mystery, as I don't want to spoil it for anyone who might wish to read it.

This book was....OK. Not great, not bad. REALLY dry chapters, but a good plot and relatively good storytelling. Pretty easy to follow and stay interested in, but nothing I'll be raving about. I think that the biggest eye opener for me (having not previously read the book or seen any of the movies) was that the painting becomes ugly as a reflection of Gray's inner self, not necessarily due to age. All of the depictions/descriptions I've heard left me with the impression that Gray becomes some kind of immortal, living hundreds of years without aging. While it is true that in the book, Gray doesn't age, the book ends with him somewhere around the age of 40; the hideousness of the portrait is almost solely due to the moral ugliness of Dorian Gray. Quite the comment about the importance of living a moral life, and what immorality can do to a person's soul.

Book 6- "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll

For the first time, I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to say about a story. I chose "Alice in Wonderland" specifically this week, as I have a lot of projects I'm trying to catch up on and I knew "Alice" was probably the shortest book on my list. I read the entire thing in about an hour and a half, and now I have to figure out what to say about it.

The thing that stumps me is that I didn't LOVE it, but I didn't dislike it either. I think part of my ambivalence toward this particular book is due to the fact that I've seen and adored both the Disney animated movie version and the recent live-action adaptation featuring Johnny Depp, so I already knew the basics of the story. It sort of confirms to me what I've already decided, which is that I should try as much as possible not to see a movie version of these classics before I read the book, because it definitely affects my opinion of the story itself.

I'm not going to summarize the story as I usually do-- partially because it would be a completely wacky story to try to summarize, but mostly just because it's such a well known story. Part of the complication with the story vs. the movies is that the movies combine "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass" (the sequel), so when I read the story, I didn't know what to expect.

I liked the depiction in the book of the tea party-- the animated movie version of the Mad Hatter is a little sillier than the book version. I think that the Johnny Depp version of the Hatter is more in character with the book version, although the Hatter does not play as significant a role in the book as Depp does in the movie (although, having not read "Through the Looking Glass", perhaps the Hatter's role is more significant in the sequel.) There were a few other characters and scenes I don't remember from either movie, but having just bought the Disney animated version for Addison, perhaps I will recognize these characters in watching the movie again.

Overall, I think that the most significant thing reading "Alice in Wonderland" did for me is make me desire to read "Through the Looking Glass", mostly just because I'm interested in drawing the lines to see which characters / events come from which book and what was completely made up in the screenplays. I think the story was obviously written for children, but would be too complicated for most children under 12 or so to understand upon reading. It is a story one can appreciate as an adult, although it definitely feels like a kid's story... if I hadn't already seen the movies, I'm not sure the plot of this book would have held my interest.

Book 5- "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte

The first time I read "Wuthering Heights" was in 6th grade, which puts me at approximately 12 years old. I struggled through the story and declared it good, but I don't really think I ever 100% figured out what it was all about; for this reason, it was one of the first books I chose to include on my list of classics for this year.

The most confusing thing, in my opinion, is just keeping track of all the characters. Not that there are many-- there are only about 8 or so "main" characters in the entire story, but the strange names (and the fact that 2 of them have the same name) makes things a little difficult. Once you wrap your head around the who's-who, it's really an enjoyable read, and a terrific story.

At the very beginning, a man by the name of Lockwood comes to rent a home called Thrushcross Grange from a man named Heathcliff. The behavior of Heathcliff's "family" at his home, Wuthering Heights, piques the curiosity of Mr. Lockwood, and when he is settled at Thrushcross Grange, he asks the housekeeper what she knows. The entire book, for the most part, is narrated by the housekeeper/nanny, Ellen Dent aka Nelly. She is telling the story of the Heathcliff/Earnshaw/Linton families, whom she has known and worked for since childhood.

The book starts out with two families: The Earnshaw's and the Linton's. Mr. Earnshaw, on a trip to the city, discovers an apparently orphaned "gypsy" boy wandering around and decides to take him home and sort of fosters him as a son. He names him Heathcliff, and expects his two children, Hindley and Catherine, to take to him immediately. Which, of course, they don't. Hindley pretty much always hates him, but after awhile, Catherine and Heathcliff become inseparable. As they grow up, Mr. Earnshaw favors Heathcliff over either of his two biological children, and after he dies, jealous Hindley immediately tells Heathcliff he has to live with the servants or get out. Catherine continues her friendship with Heathcliff, as well as developing a friendship with their only nearby neighbors, Isabella and Edgar Linton. When they are all grown, Catherine decides that despite her deep love for Heathcliff, it would be a more honorable thing to do to marry rich Edgar Linton rather than poor Heathcliff, and so she does. Heathcliff, brokenhearted, disappears for 3 years.

When he returns, he has mysteriously acquired a large amount of money, and manages to get back in to Wuthering Heights by loaning money to Hindley, who by this time is a widower, a gambler, and a drunk. He befriends Hindley's young son Hareton and turns him against his father, but with his home basically mortgaged over to Heathcliff, Hindley has no choice but to tolerate Heathcliff's presence and subsequent power over his home and family. Shortly after returning, Heathcliff drops in on Catherine and Edgar, who by this time are married and living at Thrushcross Grange. Catherine is elated to see her old friend, and Edgar, being a complete pushover, allows her to visit with him frequently. Old feelings are reignited, and eventually Edgar tries to ban Heathcliff from seeing Catherine; at this point, Catherine pretty much goes insane (she has been somewhat borderline throughout the story) and ends up nearly catatonic for awhile. Also, Isabella (Edgar's sister) decides she is in love with Heathcliff and runs away to marry him; Edgar cuts her out of his life and out of the family fortune, and after enduring a short but brutal marriage at Wuthering Heights, she eventually flees to South London. Here, she gives birth to a child, whom she names Linton and vows to keep secret from his father (which, naturally, doesn't work.) Eventually, Catherine recovers from her mental vacation, but never regains her true strength and personality, and a few hours after the birth of her first (and only) child, she dies. Thus begins part two of the story.

Catherine's daughter is named Catherine (not confusing at all, right?) and is raised by Nelly and Edgar in Thrushcross Grange. She is a beautiful, high-spirited, loyal daughter who is largely sheltered and rarely allowed out of her home; she doesn't even realize that she has an uncle and cousin in a home nearby (in fact, doesn't even know Wuthering Heights exists.) Eventually, she sneaks out one day to explore and stumbles upon Wuthering Heights; Nelly rescues her, but not before Heathcliff gets information from her-- most importantly that her Aunt Isabella has passed away and her cousin Linton is coming to live with them. Because he's just a big meany, Heathcliff immediately sends for his son (Linton) upon his arrival to Thrushcross Grange, and without any legal standing to stop the move, Edgar gives in and sends Linton to live at Wuthering Heights.

A few years pass, during which Catherine and Linton take up correspondence, then frequent visits, and a sort of love affair blossoms (since being in love with your cousin wasn't weird back then.) Eventually Heathcliff traps Catherine and Nelly in his home, upon a visit to Linton, and refuses to let them leave until Catherine marries Linton (thus securing Linton as the heir to both the Earnshaw/Heathcliff fortune AND the Linton fortune). Catherine agrees, because her father is dying and she is willing to do anything to get away. Plus, she loves Linton, despite the fact that he is a whiny, sickly, sniveling, backbone-free individual. After marrying Linton, she escapes and is able to spend her father's final moments with him. Shortly after her father dies, Linton also dies; wouldn't you know he willed all of his estate to Heathcliff, rather than to Catherine? So Catherine is now basically a prisoner in Wuthering Heights-- Heathcliff won't let her leave, due to the fact that the only thing he cannot get hold of is some of the Linton money, which is still in Catherine's legal possession. This point in the story is when Mr. Lockwood shows up to rent Thrushcross Grange.

Believe it or not, there is a happily-ever-after ending, which I won't spoil for you.

Emily Bronte, one of the trio of famous Bronte sisters, is an amazing writer with an incredible imagination. Once you got the characters straight in your mind, it was very easy to get lost in the storytelling-- she's descriptive enough of the setting to make you feel like you're there, without being so descriptive you feel like you're being bored to tears (*cough* F. Scott Fitzgerald *cough*) and gives enough background to flesh out the characters without taking away the character's ability to "tell" the reader about themselves. I like that Heathcliff is sort of a tragic character; you basically have to hate him, because he's evil, but when you see what made him that way, it's hard not to feel a teensy bit bad for him. Catherine (the first one) is a pretty unlikeable character as well; you get the feeling that she's utterly spoiled, thinks everyone should love and cater to her, and refuses to accept that she has any flaws. I mean, really; she SHOULD have married Heathcliff-- they'd have made a great couple. The second Catherine is much more likeable, and although she has a sense of entitlement due to being raised as a sheltered only child, you never really feel the need to hate her for it. She deserves the ending that she gets at the end of the book.

I would highly recommend this book-- it's a great tragic historical romance, and it kept me interested from start to finish. And it's definitely a better read than it was when I was 12.

Book 4- "The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket" by Edgar Allen Poe

I didn't have high expectations for this book. Really. I mean, the name of the book itself takes awhile to read and isn't that interesting, so you can see where I was coming from. However, I am a huge Poe fan (and any Poe fan that hasn't gone to Poe Evermore at the Mount Hope Estate should really go...) so I decided to give it a whirl. I like a lot of his short stories, so I figured maybe I could get into this.

I didn't do any preliminary Googling (as I am trying to avoid with all of these books), so I had absolutely NO idea what it was about. About 2 pages in, I figure out it's about sailing. Crap. Not a sea-interested person, so this was strike 2. But I've made it through all my other books so far, so I decided to press on.

It. Was. AWESOME.

It should be stated at this point to that, for those of you who don't already know, I am also a huge Stephen King fan. Huge. As in celebrity-i-would-give-anything-to-meet kind of fan. As in I have a huge signed artists print of the cover of the last Dark Tower novel hanging in my living room kind of fan (despite everyone asking me "what's with the cowboy holding the rose?"). This story, though very obviously in the writing style of Poe, was very much like diving into a King novel, and made it clear to me that just the general "he wrote horror stories" point is not the only reason King lists Poe as an influence. ANYway, I thought this was important to note, just to let you know that my love of this book might be slightly biased.

Arthur Gordon Pym is the narrator of the story. He is away at school when his friend Augustus takes him sailing while extremely intoxicated, and predictably they almost die when the ship capsizes. This incident does nothing to deter Pym from a love of the sea, nor does it weaken his faith in Augustus. Thus, when Augustus suggests that Pym stow away on his (Augustus) father's whaling boat, remaining below deck in the stowage area until they are too far from Nantucket to turn around, absolutely no warning bells go off and Pym agrees immediately. Augustus leaves him with food, water, candles, etc. in a large shipping box, with a promise to check in whenever he can and bring more provisions as needed. This goes horribly awry, however, when the ship's crew mutinies, the captain is set adrift in a small boat, and Augustus is very nearly killed along with the ship's 40 or so other loyal crew members. Somehow, Augustus is spared, but is unable to check on Pym for several days. By this time, Pym has been below for days without water and nearly dies, but miraculously Augustus manages to locate him in the dark and save his life. Augustus, during the time Pym was suffering below deck, has befriended a man named Dirk Peters, who is doubting the leadership of the mutineers and considering a second mutiny (I know, crazy...). Augustus confides in Peters about the presence of Pym on the boat, and the three of them devise a plan to overthrow the gang of mutineers. The plan naturally works (obviously, since Pym IS the titular hero of the story.) Only one of the mutineers, Parker, is spared. When the ship ends up completely destroyed by a storm and they are left at the mercy of the currents, with no sails, Parker's luck runs out. He suggests that one of them sacrifice himself for the good of all (cannibalism, for those who didn't follow...) and unfortunately draws the short straw (since this is not "The Narrative of Parker.") He is killed and eaten. Augustus was injured during the second mutiny and dies of malnutrition/infection, leaving only Peters and Pym alive.

After nearly dying (again!) Pym and Peters are saved when they are discovered by the crew of another whaling ship. This ship sails really really far south to explore the Antarctic waters, runs into a group of natives who convince them they are friendly, lures them to their home island, and to make a long story short, everyone is killed. EXCEPT (you guessed it!) Pym and Peters. Pym and Peters survive a short time on the island, long enough to come up with an escape plan, which involves them slaughtering THOUSANDS of natives and escaping in a huge canoe. (I never said this story was believable. I said it was awesome.) They take one of the non-slaughtered natives on board with them as a hostage, but after several days adrift and due to some rather extreme behaviors on his part (refusal to drink/eat, fear of the color white, etc.) he dies. Peters and Pym drift further and further into really eerie conditions, where the water is white, cloudy, and uncomfortably hot to the touch, and they finally encounter what is described as being a very large figure of a man, with completely white skin.

This is where the book ends. There is a "note" at the end of the book, stating that Pym survived this trip but was somehow killed in an "accident" before he could finish his narrative. The writer of the note also indicates that Peters is alive and living in Chicago, but was unable to be located to fill in the last few chapters. So the reader never finds out what exactly they encountered at the South Pole; for my part, I was left with a feeling that whatever it was left both Pym and Peters cursed, since one died and the other went "missing" shortly thereafter.

Though some of the sentences ran on into forever and there where whole pages of sailing explanations/jargon that I literally just had to skim over or my head would explode, this was an incredibly interesting story with a plot that kept the reader interested (however unrealistic it may be.) The way Poe blends horror into reality makes the really horrifying parts seem believable in relation to the story... you don't get the feeling that he's trying to inject terrifying images that don't fit into a normal story, and the "horror" aspects aren't really a stretch (although much of the plot is. I mean, really... 2 men against thousands? And the 2 men win?) It was a book I will likely read again someday (really!) and I would recommend it to anyone.

Book 3- "The House of Seven Gables" by Nathaniel Hawthorne

The third choice of my list of classics leaves me somewhere between the first two-- I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it, either. (Which just made me hear Mitch Hedberg in my head saying "You either love it, or you hate it. Or you think that it's ok.")

"The House of Seven Gables" starts out with Hepzibah Pyncheon (I know, could he have come up with a more awful name to read over and over again? I mean, I get that it's Biblical... but so are Esther, and Sarah, and Abigail, and any other number of names that sound a heck of a lot less like someone clearing their throat), an "old maid," opening a shop in her supposedly cursed ancestral home because she is left with almost nothing to her name. Hepzibah has been a recluse for approximately 30 years, the entire time that her brother Clifford is in jail (which you don't find out about until about 3/4 of the way through the book.) On her second day as a shopkeeper, a distant cousin, a young woman named Phoebe, shows up to stay with Hepzibah (something about her widowed mother taking a new husband.) Phoebe breathes new life into the seven-gabled house, as well as enriching the lives of both Hepzibah and her brother, when he is released from jail a feeble-minded old man.

As the story (slowly) progresses, the reader uncovers, piece by piece, the history of the Pyncheon family. At the beginning, you learn that the Pyncheon land (on which the house of seven gables is built) was immorally taken from a man by name of Maule, who, upon refusing to give up his land to the much wealthier Colonel Pyncheon, is arrested, tried, and executed for witchcraft. On his day of execution, he exclaims, "God will give him blood to drink," referring to Pyncheon. This leads to the belief that the house is cursed/haunted, especially when several members of the family die a sudden death coughing up blood (a result of a hereditary disease, not a curse, but no one seems to draw a distinction...) Fast forward to the current (well, current in the story) generation, in which Hepzibah inherited the home from an uncle who died (and who's (natural) death was painted as a murder by another cousin, Jaffrey, who then frames Clifford for the murder out of jealousy and a desire to inherit his uncle's wealth, which had been bequeathed to Clifford.) (What a family.) In present day, Jaffrey, now a prominent judge, kind of taunts Hepzibah and Clifford, knowing that they hate him but pretending that he loves them anyway.

**Spoiler alert** Eventually, the Judge threatens Hepzibah, claiming that Clifford knows a secret to hidden wealth that he should have inherited upon his uncle's death, and threatening that if she does not convince Clifford to tell him, he will have Clifford put in a sanitarium. When she goes to get Clifford, the Judge conveniently succumbs to the family sudden-death disease, and Hepzibah and Clifford flee, sort of on a crazy celebratory vacation Clifford prods Hepzibah into. The body of the Judge is then discovered by Phoebe, who was away for a few days but returns to the home after its owners have left. She is let into the otherwise-locked home by Holgrave, a 22-year-old who had been renting out one of the gables from Hepzibah. He declares his love for Phoebe, she declares her love for him, and all the while the corpse of the Judge is just sitting in a chair in the other room (ew.) Luckily, Hepzibah and Clifford return just in time to avoid suspicion for fleeing so suddenly after the Judge's death, they all inherit a crap ton of money, and they live happily ever after. Oh, and predictably (to me, at least), it turns out that Holgrave is actually Matthew Maule, a descendant of the original Maule who cursed the Pyncheon family... you're left with a vague idea that the 200-year-old curse has been lifted by the death of the Judge and the union of a Maule and a Pyncheon.

My opinion of the story is this: the story itself (the plot, characters, etc.) is pretty good. Not knock-your-socks-off amazing, but entertaining. The problem is that it was horribly boring to read. Honestly. I literally dozed off today about 3/4 of the way through it... that's never happened to me before. He is WAY too descriptive for my taste... he will literally spend 8 pages describing a room in detail that is absolutely not in any way imperative to the plot. He spent quite a few pages describing the behavior of a couple of chickens, and ended the rambling with something like "but we need not waste our time talking about chickens, as they have no bearing on the story." (Ok, not those exact words, but something similar.) (Even HE thinks he's overly descriptive and a bit boring.) (And this happens several times throughout the book.)

Although there is an obvious plot to the story, it is not a plot-driven story; by which I mean that you are compelled to keep reading only to finish the book, because the plot moves so slowly that it doesn't really grab your interest. And when you're reading a 3 page description of a rug, it is (apparently) easy to doze off.

My recommendation? I know there have been several movies made of this book-- might be in your best interest to just try one of those.

Book 2- "Rebecca" by Daphne Du Maurier

Writing this particular entry is going to be difficult, though not in the same way that the last one was. The entry for "The Beautiful and Damned" was hard to write because I thought the book was kind of awful. "Rebecca", however, was amazing. Couldn't put it down. And now I have to try to write about it without giving anything away, because I think everyone should read it.

"Rebecca" starts out with my second favorite opening line of all books I've ever read: "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." (For those of you who are now curious, my favorite opening line of all time is to "The Gunslinger," the first of the 7 Dark Tower novels by Stephen King, which opens "The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed.") The first chapter is largely the main character/narrator (who is never actually given a name) recounting her dream. She then talks of present day life, with her and her husband having left Manderley, never to return, and the emotions that are stirred by memories of their former home. She leads the reader into the idea that something evil and or tragic happened there, without being too blatant or bold and without giving anything away.

Most of the book is spent recounting the relationship and marriage of the narrator and Maxim de Winter, the millionaire owner of Manderley, a renowned estate in England. He is somewhere around 20 years older than the narrator, and their relationship begins innocently enough, but after a short period of spending a lot of time together, he proposes and then marries the narrator. She is his second wife; the first wife, Rebecca, is believed to have drowned a year prior.

The narrator, who is from here on out referred to only as "Mrs. de Winter", moves to Manderley with Maxim after a long honeymoon in Italy, and is completely out of her element. She is an orphan and was raised very simply, so suddenly becoming the head of an estate is a complete culture shock. She relies heavily on Mrs. Danvers, who serves as the head of the house staff, despite Mrs. Danvers' obvious dislike of her. Mrs. de Winter, upon meeting the staff, family, and friends of her husband, starts to feel more and more in the shadow of Rebecca, and inadvertently begins digging around in Rebecca's past, trying to learn more of her life and more about her death. Her husband is reluctant to speak about Rebecca at all, so much of what she learns about Rebecca is from the staff, the devoted Mrs. Danvers, and local acquaintances, all of whom paint a picture of a regal, personable, beautiful woman who is greatly missed. But there are hints throughout that there is more to the story of Rebecca, and that there is more than meets the eye.

I'm not going to say much more about the plot of the story, because I don't want to reveal anything about the ending-- you'll have to read it for yourself (and are welcome to borrow my copy.) I began reading it Monday morning and finished it very early Tuesday morning, unable to go to bed without finding out what happens to everyone (which is a problem I have with books in general-- I have a hard time knowing when to stop.) I have to admit, after "The Beautiful and Damned" it would have been hard not to like ANY book that followed, but "Rebecca" was truly a fun, interesting, exciting read, and my week 3 book now has a hard act to follow.

Book 1- "The Beautiful and Damned" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

When I am presented with a plate of food, whether at home, at a restaurant, or at a family gathering, I like to eat my least favorite thing first and my favorite last, so that when I am finished and full, the taste of the least favorite thing has been sufficiently smothered by the lingering taste of the favorite thing. That’s the way I approached my book list—I combed it for something I was fairly certain I wouldn’t like first, just to get it out of the way. Thus, F. Scott Fitzgerald.

In high school, I was tasked with reading “The Great Gatsby.” All I heard was how prolific, how symbolic, how classic “Gatsby” was, and I was completely let down. What a droll, self-indulgent, BORING piece of literature! So when I came up with the idea of reading 52 classics in a year, my mind went back to Fitzgerald. Although I couldn’t force myself to reread “Gatsby”—I was old enough when I read it the first time to know that I won’t like it any better now—I chose another of his well-reviewed books, included in one of the “50 Classics” collections on my Nook.

“The Beautiful and Damned” is about Anthony Patch, an orphan raised by his very wealthy grandfather. He is largely a loner growing up, and maintains only a small group of friends when he goes to Harvard, who remain friends into his adulthood. He decides not to work after college, feeling that there is nothing worth doing because life is meaningless; he instead decides to live off of the interest money he collects from his dead mother’s estate. This continues until he meets Gloria, a very self-centered, self-indulgent debutante from Kansas. A match made in Heaven, they eventually marry, and flit around the country spending money, drinking, and partying. After several years, they are discontent in their marriage and would probably have divorced, had Anthony not been drafted; the year they spend apart while he is in the military reawakens their interest in one another and when he returns, they pick up where they left off. The economy, however, has taken a dive, and the interest money is no longer enough to sustain their lavish lifestyle. Anthony “looks” for a job but finds nothing— instead, he turns once again to drinking, and at this point in the story becomes a pretty serious alcoholic. His grandfather, a Prohibitionist, cuts Anthony out of his will and then dies; Anthony and Gloria contest the will, lose the case, appeal, lose, appeal, etc. All the while, Anthony’s alcoholism is getting worse, Gloria is finally growing up but is reluctant to leave Anthony because she does not want to have to work, and the two continue partying every night to forget their problems, then resenting each other the next morning. Finally, at the end of the book, they win their court case and Anthony is awarded millions of dollars from his grandfather’s estate, but his alcoholism has taken its toll and he has basically gone mad. The book ends with Anthony as a 30-something wheelchair bound nutcase and Gloria operating basically as his very, very well paid nurse.

So I get it. The moral of the story is two-fold: money can’t buy happiness, and love built solely on beauty doesn’t last. Two very valid points, but two points that Fitzgerald fails to hit on hard enough to give the reader the “a-ha!” moment of realization; instead, I was left depressed, angry, bored, and disappointed. It’s hard to stay interested in a story with two completely unlikable main characters; Anthony is grumpy, selfish, and judgmental, and Gloria is dimwitted, narcissistic, and bossy. The beginning of their marriage is full of indulgence and entitlement, and after only about two years their marriage is full of resentment, bitterness, and bickering. I never had that moment where I felt bad for them, or felt that they had a moment where they realized what their selfishness had cost them; even in the moments where they admit to themselves and each other that they are the cause of their own ruination, you never get the feeling that they actually regret anything but the money drying up.

Really, Fitzgerald? I see what you were going for here, but I’d kind of rather have the six or so hours of my life back.