Breaking 7 Months of Silence

Seven months between posts isn't THAT long, right? ....ok, ok. I'm sorry. But kind of a lot has happened in the last 7 months, so you'll have to forgive me.

For one thing, I am now 31 weeks pregnant. Dan moved back to PA in November and graduated in December. We struggled for a few months to find him a job, and now he's employed by Penn State Hershey Medical Center. In the midst of all of this, Addison is potty training, becoming more independent, and developing the divatude of a full-blown 3 year old. So blogging hasn't been at the forefront of my brain for awhile. However, due to baby-kick-induced insomnia, I am often up well into the wee hours of the night/morning and find myself with ample time to think, reflect, and write.

It occurred to me that although I used to update this blog regularly, it was almost always an update about Dan or a quip about Addison... I don't very often talk about myself (except when nervously trying to make conversation... then I can't seem to talk about anything BUT myself. Must work on this.) In my attempts to continue this blog, I'm going to try to (occasionally, at least) provide some kind of story or insight about myself, maybe to give people a little insight about who I am but mostly to clear some of these things from my mind. That way, when I don't have a Dan-update or Addison-ism to share, I can still write SOMETHING.

I have a rather emotionally heavy post on my mind, but that will be for another time (perhaps even later tonight, after Addison and Dan have both gone to bed.) For now, I'll turn my attention back to everyone's favorite subject of my blogs, Addison.

Addison has been in potty training mode for a couple months now... we officially started on the day Dan started working, but have been pre-training for months. I set up a rather elaborate and enticing rewards system, and on the first day, Addison "went pee-pee" in the potty 11 times (I also gave her large amounts of juice that day, so there were more successes to be had.) Since then, we've had way more successes than accidents, and less than a week ago I recall telling my father-in-law that I couldn't remember the last time Addison wet in her pull-up during the day (we are not night-training yet.)

However, a couple days ago, Addison crashed big time. She had been sick with two illnesses in as many weeks... first a flu bug that caused her to vomit for 7 hours, then a rather nasty bout of croup. She was in recovery from the croup when she apparently decided that the potty was not for her... she had 3 "ackidinks" (her word for accidents) within a few hours. The first I was willing to excuse-- I am not beyond understanding that after almost 3 years of being allowed to go at will, she might occasionally forget what she is supposed to be doing. The second made me angry. Largely due to her attitude at the time... she was whining, yelling, and arguing about everything I asked/told her to do or not to do, and the followed it up by peeing in her pull-up while within 10 feet of her potty. The resulting conversation went something like this:

Addison: Mommy, you ang-er-y?

Me: Yes, Addison, I'm a little ang-er-y. I'm trying not to be, but I really wish you would have pee-peed in the potty. You KNOW better.

Addison: (grinning) nooooo, Mommy... you not ang-er-y! We best friends!

I couldn't help but laugh after that... not only does my daughter know how to manipulate my emotions from time to time, but she was also 100% correct. She IS my best friend, and she KNOWS it. We spend every waking minute together and know each other inside and out. We know how to make each other laugh. We can tell from each other's body language, breathing pattern, and tone of voice what kind of mood the other is in, even if the change is very slight. We tell each other everything. We could cuddle on the couch for an hour and a half watching a movie or spend an hour in separate rooms, each doing our own thing, and still come out of that time feeling connected. I know a lot of people are reading this going "no kidding, you're her MOM" but even though I knew the bond of a mother and a daughter was strong (I have always been very close to my Mom, and continue to be to this day), I don't think I ever really anticipated the deep impact it would have on every aspect of my life.